By Didge Martin (he/him)
The essay will start in 3…2…1
There seems to be a lack of understanding about the concept behind sleeping, well, at least, for me personally, in the exact front of a coaster that only caters to half of your entire back. You might think counterintuitively so to speak. If you’re reading this and are already getting bored, please treat it like an assignment and endure it. Your name will appear immediately after a few paragraphs. Well, if you’re a FLIP debater who made it the Top 12 and competed in the SLIDEUP2024. Trust me, it’s going to be worth-it!
A few responses from my side of the bench before the actual message of this essay: Beyond the pun-hunting inside malls, unusual heightened violence of laser tagging, ice-skating blunders, late-night swimming extensions, and campus-strolling/chaperoning, my journey back to UPLB for SLIDE UP 2024 with THE best speakers of Tuguegarao’s debaters, will be, I can safely assume, the highlight of my year. But the highlight is not the competition itself, it is the people I met and learned to love from a 4-day training and a 2-day competition. To loosely quote our famous JB Tan, maybe the breaks we had was the friendship we created all along.
Let us picture paint: It is now 2:26 in the morning, inside a cramped coaster, Panic! At the Disco’s Victorious is playing in full volume from a wireless bluetooth headphones. Only the essayist is awake with the driver. The road is Santa Fe, the famous, nay, infamous bituka na daanan is being traversed. What would this look like in the realm of a typical ride? “This guy is absurd!” You might say. He is indeed. The thing is, there is no back rest in your seat, you might even be occasionally kicked by the person behind you, so imagine putting your shoes in his shoes, you might as well entertain yourself with loud music and writing in your Notes App.
On to our motion extensions and crystallizing the case for our side of the bench: the actual message of the speech. To better build a case and avoid biased adjudication, the numbers do not necessarily reflect a rank of some sort and Paulinian debaters shall be listed last. Sorry, Paulinians. You probably deserve it.
Speaker 1: Ashley Cordoba. Starting with Ashley. Ah, yes Ashley, our slay queen. Being able to witness your astute performance whenever being a Deputy is really, really, remarkable! Your dedication to the crafting of witty remarks with meaty substances is a feature I am excited to witness again soon! I kept saying whenever someone gives you a POI, “the opposing team ate, but Ashley devoured!” Also, your words resonate and walk as if they have feet of their own. How do you that? Excited for you, as always. Hear hear!
Speaker 2: Jozane Gollayan. Thank you first and foremost for sharing how difficult it is to deal with sibling rivalry when not being a debater. So, witnessing your whipping prowess is astounding! Considering you shifted from being Deputy to Whip, and slaying both roles, is a superpower! I appreciate how you encapsulate arguments with the tonality of being sassy yet being formal. I look forward to your next performance of being a superb Whip. Hear hear!
Speaker 3: Fatima Macapia. Ah, Fatima, yes. Our extemporaneous queen! How foolish of me to have a first impression that extemporaneous speaking won’t really help you in being a debater, because you proved it to be otherwise. I also am astonished at how you are astonished whenever we suggest strategies. Your enthusiasm is a burst of color in a dark world. The way you absorb learnings is also a feat only you can harness. Also, a side note, hopefully you enjoy reading Gravity Fall’s Journal no. 3. Hear hear!
Speaker 4: Jose Miguel Arugay. Our debate rizzler. To be honest, I’m not really sure where your unofficial title came from. I guess it is from your consistent white tees and casual hair combing while speaking. Oh I know now, it is because you are so so so persuasive as well! That is your feat! “Keeping it local is best” as a takeaway from the debate competition is still too funny for me. What a remark! Well, in your debating skills, I hope you can harness it the point that your rizz skills are turned best case scenarios so you could find a significant other! Hear hear!
Speaker 5: Maria Princess Rye. First of all, I would like to posit that I am not a person who is necessarily “nakaka-angat sa buhay” just because of isolated cases. I rest my case. Anyway—your angst and quick witted responses towards motion analyses is a remarkably useful tool when you’re already debating. I hope you keep that fire ablaze! I apologize you had to see Oble before UPCAT Results. Maybe you need not to succumb to superstition to prove that you shall be an Iskolar ng Bayan. I’m pretty sure you already are one! Hear hear!
Speaker 6: Arianne Dumlao. For a person who looks like she can easily fit in the Manila or UPLB scene, your attitude of being a Promdi (from the province) girl with gutter humor is confusing a lot of people. People is me, to say the least. Also, you are not only a best speaker, you are a best shouter. But your debate skills—already almost perfect! Just need to polish it with “a little more aggression” and tie it back to extempo energy. Slay for you. But for me, you don’t only whip, you sweep the entire floor and annihilate its benches. Keep it up! Oh and yes, you are now officially my long lost sister. Matching Pisces energy and a Pengue kababayan, what else is there? Please don’t be a stranger. Hear hear!
Speaker 7: Lyka Cortez. How does it feel to be a flawless Prime Minister? Care to share any tips? No? Maybe still thinking about the aesthetic UPLB Tumbler you didn’t get, huh? Hopefully I can learn how to let go of it and ultimately donate it to you before we reach our homes. But all the more reason for you to go back go UPLB, right? Maybe what’s waiting for you is not only a tumbler but an announcement slide that you made it for breaks! (Cue your scream with Arianne) because you are best shouter No. 2. For being the youngest Speaker in the group, I officially declare you as our muse. Kidding. I hope to see you again the soonest time possible. Many thanks for suggesting the Strawberry Mango Tea from Macao Imperial. Also your EquiTeam and BaGirl suggestions were *chef’s kiss* (missed opportunities indeed) Next time eat faster so you won’t have to struggle running before the actual laser tag. Hear hear!
Speaker 8: JB Tan. If Arianne is my official long lost sister, then you are now my official long lost brother. How does it feel to be the funniest person in the room without even trying? My honest first impression of you is that you will be a person who will be difficult to be with because of how incredibly intimidating you can be. But boy, was I wrong. You are the wittiest person I know as of today. Your humor is top tier. Well, slapstick as you would say. I can’t even count the amount of internal laughs I had whenever you have witty remarks or just banter with people. You are not only a debater, but you are our happiness pill. Woof woof! Am I right? Hear hear!
At this point in time I am half asleep. But I can’t. I mean I physically can’t anymore because I will be literally crushing madam Kia Joanna, our overall head chaperone and organizing team point person. She beat me to it. I no longer have the temporal nor spatial capability to deliver my sleep. I hope I can finish this essay before succumbing to sleep.
On the Paulinian debaters!
Speaker 9: Adelyn Orata. Here’s the thing, you’re completely amazing! And that is a fact I can give to people. For being a whip to a first speaker, your first national debate competition is sure a great story to tell for the next batches. I admire you so much for always being knowledgeable about almost anything. May it be something deep, to something just being mundane. I do hope our conversations won’t end with debate premises. I look forward to more discussions with you. Hear hear!
Speaker 10: Jessa Dela Cruz. (Cue Hesus sa Krus music) okay, this might be subject to equity team, so I’ll stop right here. Jessa! The martyr debater, so to speak! The one thing you’ve feared the most has finally been conquered! Your extemporaneous speaking has finally taken its flight—and for that, what an amazing debater you are. Breaks or no breaks, I’m pretty sure you will use your new unlocked skill in many other endeavors in the future and I am excited for you. May the circumstances always align with your passions. Hear hear!
Speaker 11: Ian Allam. (Cue that whatever laugh you created or imitated) the first time I witnessed you debate a year ago, I honestly thought to myself, maybe this person is for broadcasting, not for debating. But boy, oh boy, you proved me wrong! Like I said in the past, you are an epitome of a comeback story worthy of experiencing a taste of UPLB before graduating. And to top it all off, from being a Prime to becoming a Whip is not an easy task. But you flawlessly adopted to the harsh environment of such, and for you that I am proud of you always!
Speaker 12: Einjel Martin. My best friend. And FLIP overall best speaker. I might not really show, but I am beyond proud of you my dearest sister. From the moment you were born, to today, and for always. I mean conquering UPLB twice? Breaks or no breaks, you have shown us the success stories every one needs to watch at least once in their life. Words aren’t even enough to explain how I am elated to have you as my sister. In the perspective of an average reasonable person, and in all likelihood of alternative realities or universes, I do not want any other sister but you. You are my best friend, my one text away chismis provider, and I am going to be always your number 1 fan. Hear hear!
Panels. The time is now 4:39 AM. We are at least 4 hours away from home and I am now done with my essay. Thus, we should not regret sleeping in front of the bus. For all these reasons, I have never been prouder to coach.
