I'm Your Warmest Color

"Your First Paper Cut"

By: DJ Martin 🤘

Finger.

Blood.

Singer.

Flat.

Your first paper cut- a phenomenal experience 

You experienced it when you were with me

Me as a witness

The only witness

Of such aberrant whatnots.

Linger.

Stud.

Shiver

Proud.

It could've been punishable by screams

Yet you chose to stay.

It could've been shattered dreams 

Yet you loved me all the way

Chose to love

Loved me to stay

Words.

Honesty.

Knives.

Scars.

How Urie would say it in his Gospel:

"The fear of falling apart"

Would be(s) and whatnots

Your first paper cut-

Will always be with me. Only me.

These cuts are mine to bear

These cuts are mine as well

Cliches.

Love.

Trust. 

Leeways. 

Struggle with me

It's what we are bound to do

Your first paper cut-

And the rest of them you'll receive

It's my turn to finish the gaps and spots;

Reminding you I am to accept your pain.

Perplexed.

Confused.

Baffled.

Nonplussed. 

Like this poem.

Like you.

But it's given meaning. It'll always be.

Because your first paper cut will always be experienced with me. 

~ ~

LIBRARY THOUGHTS- How "I Write Truths Not Tragedies" Came About

Do you know why this blog is entitled I Write Truths Not Tragedies? Well, the obvious reason- it is a witty reference to Panic! At The Disco's well-known song called I Write Sins Not Tragedies of their first album A Fever You Can't Sweat Out released last September 27, 2005 (if I'm not mistaken)

But if you come to think of it, it's not just about a creative reference for a blog. It's more than that. It's like this blog speaks for itself. Let's break it down shall we.

I.

The word I. A single letter symbolizing individuality or identity. A word that establishes a personality, an entity of some sort. A word that could go so many ways but is grounded on one underlying meaning- I. A name, a title, a well-being, a code, a course. It's always there. It'll always be there. 'I' will always be present no matter what. 'I' will never change. 'I' will always be here. 

WRITE.

Ah, write. One of my most favorite words in the English dictionary. Whenever the teacher asks us to write something (ever since High School)  it weirdly turns me on. For some reasons, the word belongs to me. I write to express, I write to impress, I write to satisfy myself, I write to satisfy others as well. I exist because I write. I write because I exist. In a more subliminal aspect, I write because I think it's my purpose. I influence because I write, I write because I want to influence. It's just there, if you get it, no matter how the world is positioned, no matter how I become, I would always write. And for now I might not harnessed that 'purpose,' but sooner I will. I know I will. (See how many 'I's' were presented here?)

TRUTHS.

This part is already frustrating me for some reasons I can't even grasp. What does the truth speak about? How will we even know a truth's a truth? Just like knowledge or love, its very difficult to define truth. In the philosophical aspect, ''Simply, we can define truth as: a statement about the way the world actually is.'' (http://www.philosophynews.com/post/2015/01/29/What-is-Truth.aspx)
But what does the world actually look like? How am I even dwelling in the philosophical aspect? How is this even a topic? Is this the truth?

Okay. Let's look at it this way. If the things you do speak of the truth, how will you differentiate it from a lie? What if what's true for others is not true for some? That's what's frustrating me.

But now we'll look at the meaning of truth in the perspective of this blog. I write TRUTHS not TRAGEDIES. It's simple. Everything written here are not made-up. They are products of experience and honest cogitations. What I write are manifestations of truth. Because it's what supposed to be. It is what people need to see. You need to see. In the face of the truth, no matter how viewed or defined by anyone, this blog will always remain true to itself- and that's the truth.

NOT.

The negative aspect. Negation. The word not is used for denying things. But the good thing about how the word 'not' is used in this blog is that it actually denies to accept positivity. The word 'not' in this blog establishes adversary to promote amity. Now isn't that quite amazing? For me I think it is.

TRAGEDIES. 

Another negative aspect. Tragedy. It's adhering to a tatterdemalion state, a deplorable and lamentable condition. (Look at me use big and highfaluting words)

But tragedies is not subject here. It is truth. 'Tragedies' is negated because truth is given way and accepted. So no matter how tragic my life can get, I would always adhere to writing truths and no matter how life turns out, truth will always prevail.

So yes, that's about it.

Haven't I mentioned I am typing this at the school library? I think I did. Well, sort of- it's indicated in the title. See, not tragedies. Just truths.

~ ~

THANK YOU FOR TAKING TIME TO CHECK MY UPDATE!
I HOPE YOU LIKED IT.

AND AGAIN, THANKS FOR READING!

SPEED BUMP- Today's a Wednesday

I feel like something's wrong today. I can't really grasp what it is.

You told me you're sleepy. Is that it? I feel like something's wrong. Tell me. I hate how I resort to writing to express my anxiety when it comes to you. It's like I have been carrying this all along ever since I started loving you. Believe me nothing's bad about that- it's just a manifestation of how I love you so much.

But seriously, is there something wrong? Is there something you're not telling me?

Today's a Wednesday. The day we have been longing for-for weeks and hard-earned weeks. Now we've come here. Yet it feels different. It's as if somehow you're not looking forward for it anymore.

Is there something wrong? Tell me. I'm here, I'm always here you know that.

I have developed a keen adherence to my doubts and over-thinking tendencies. It's not supposed to be like this. I always feel fine when it comes to you. But today it's as if you're pushing me away. Tell me what's bothering you, please. I'm here- you know that.

Today's a Wednesday- our day. The day we've grown fond of. But as if this day is as gloomy as the skies. The underlying forlornness of the weather is parallel to your words and actions. Today you're tired. But today I am too. But I haven't seen you like this.

Is there something wrong? Is there something bothering you? Hey, tell me. I'm here. I'm always here, just tell me. I love you.

Feisty Cogitations (Extra Spicy) is currently playing. Maybe it's time to make a new playlist. A playlist for just being with you- a playlist for sleep, peace and quiet.. A playlist for you-for us.

Today's a Wednesday. The day we've been longing for. The day we've grown fond of. Our day-our special day. Just for us.

I am at the library and I was the only person here not until groups of people already entered. The next half-hour it's all occupied already. I'm here at the rear end. The last computer facing the Circulation Area. I feel blank, but at the same time I feel hopeful. Writing gives me life as well. (Well in this case, typing.)

I'm thinking of your face when you entered your class. Right after you left. You didn't even turn your back when I said "hey." You seemed bothered. Is everything alright? Are we okay? We are, aren't we?

Today's a Wednesday. Our day. Is there something wrong? Tell me, I'm here. I'm always here.

I love you.

Oohs.

 

Lunar Sentiments 2.0

'Credence'

A short story by DJ Martin 🤘

It was an auspicious Thursday evening, unlike any other evening, the moon was not present. The city was not quiet but quite chaotic. At a park, a young man wandered. 

"Hmmm... that's a bit odd" Perry uttered as he sat on the old bench located at the center of the city's park. He was alone, like any other night. It was his routine. But it was not like any other night for he was wondering where the moon might've gone. He was always wondering quite frankly; and he never noticed, not until then. 

Few minutes passed, still nothing- hours, and it got darker, stars were present everywhere but the moon was hiding still. 

Perry was a merchant, paid by his own company and lived in a place isolated from the city- alone. He was always enjoying the company of himself, quite ironically; he never met someone whom he can share his aspirations with. He kept wandering and wondering- "Where could possibly the moon be?" He was left with no answer.

Minutes passed, still nothing- hours, and it got even darker, stars were already massively and vividly present everywhere but the moon was still not in sight.  As he gazed upon the night-sky, he couldn't help but to notice a figure along the road where the park ends. It was man. He was homeless. Perry stood up and walked towards and tried to have a conversation with the man.

"Good evening, sir" he said. 

"Hello" the man replied. "What made you decide to come over here and talk to me?" he added. Perry was in awe, stuck and didn't know how or what to answer.

"Well, haven't you noticed the moon is still not out there?" He said as he pointed up and tried to sit down with the homeless man. 

"I'm expecting for you to come here" the man said. Perry was shocked by the man's answer but still managed to keep composure and humbly said "Really? How so?" Then the man answered "You see, a lot of people sit there then come talk to me after" 

Perry was confused and said "I've always been sitting there but how come I'm only seeing you now?" 

The man laughed and said "I'm homeless. People always see me but they refuse to look" Perry, still perplexed by the words of the man asked "You said a while ago people come here and talk to you after" He replied "They do, they say harsh things. Mean, unfavorable and unforgivable things" Perry felt ashamed. "I'm sorry" he said. "I've been expecting you, but I've never expected on what you have to say though" the homeless man replied as he fixed his sitting position. 

Minutes passed, still nothing- hours, and it got even darker, the night was deep as stars were already massively and vividly present everywhere but the man and Perry were still not being shone by a moonlight.

Perry took courage to establish another conversation with the homeless man. He asked him if how did he end up at the end of the park. Then again the man laughed and answered "I'm a homeless man, any place can be my home" 

Perry insisted and asked "Then how can you be this positive considering your state?" The man replied "I've always been positive. I know that everything will be set to be perfect, in the right time" Perry was still in awe as to how he heard the answers of the homeless man. He then asked "How will even know if the time's right?" The homeless man just smiled and said in a soft voice "Time is always right- it's our choices that sets it wrong" 

Perry was amazed on how the man answered his questions. He was marveled on how the man gave responses considering he was homeless. 

"How are you able to survive the harsh environment this end-park offers?" The man answered "Well, I don't. Because I made this harsh environment you're talking about" 

Minutes passed, still nothing- hours, and it got even darker, the night was deep as stars were already massively and vividly present everywhere.

Perry then decided to go home and invited the homeless man and he humbly obliged. As they were walking home, Perry subtly turned his head towards the sky to see if the moon was already present. To his surprise, he saw a shooting star instead. I have to make a wish he though and so he did.

"I wish to see the moon" he whispered. The homeless man asked him "What's with you and the moon?" Perry answered "I don't know. The moon soothes everything in me" 

When they got home, Perry toured the homeless man in his house and explained how he had been making the place suitable for living. The man said "Maybe you need not to try to fix everything in here because if they really belong here, then everything will be set in their own respective place."

Minutes passed, still nothing- hours, and it got even darker, the night was deep as stars were already massively and vividly present everywhere. Eventually, the homeless man had to go. 

"Thank you for tonight" he said thereafter he bid goodbye. Perry offered his home but the homeless man refused. "Well, thank you too sir" Perry said. Then he shouted "Wait! I didn't get the chance to know your name" He gasped and laughed and replied "I'm a homeless man my friend. And I want to stay and be called the same" 

Perry was still in awe after the man left. 

The next day came, and the next day, and the next, weeks and months came. Never was the moon absent since then, but the homeless man was no longer to be found.