My Shampoo smells like Existential Crisis

You know what they say that when you're taking a shower, it is that one true time that you experience your real sentiments about life? I guess it is true, at times. 

Showering at night sucks, especially when the water (plus the weather) is cold as f**k. The worst part is, (if you don't have a heater) since it's already past bed-time, you can't really wait for water to boil. But in rare cases, it really, really sucks when in the middle of your showering, all of a sudden, the shampoo smells like Existential Crisis. At this moment, you can't literally scream but your thoughts are louder than the Karaoke being played in the neighbor's lawn. 

So much for being a Public Administration and Legal Management degree holder, my job to impart knowledge is limited to Politics and Governance and guess what, Philosophy. Yup, I am a philosophy teacher. Guess it makes sense now, huh? 

"So, now you're an adult now. Great, right? It's really not." I can't imagine existing for two decades was this difficult. The bigger question is: am I even? What even is existence? Or living, for that matter? I earn, I have a paycheck for most of the times that I don't need money, I pay taxes and the bills, I go to church, I give my parents the due respect they deserve, I have a stable relationship with my girlfriend, I follow the rules of my employer, I abhor the government's failures I.. I.. I... I exist. I am an adult. Doing adult things. Great, right? It's really fu***ng not. As an anti-quote, what a great time to be un-alive! Oh great, it's also raining outside.

As Rick Sanchez would say "Listen to your sister, Morty. To live is to risk it all, otherwise you're just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you. Oh, I'm sorry, Jerry, I didn't see you there, how much of that did you hear?" At that point of showering time, I was Jerry. Oh yes, I was. I heard everything and my mind wondered and wandered off. What if we are not Humans but rather are really just inert-chunks-of-randomly-assembled-molecules? (That's a long common name.) Sometimes you can't help but to think that we are just cogs in a machine. A spare part inside a big scam that is life. It's fun to teach Philosophy but it's never fun if you comprehend it to an extent that it affects the smell of your shampoo. Maybe all shampoos smell the same for other people, but in rare cases, it reeks with anomalies that questions life itself. 

source: (https://me.me/i/to-live-is-to-risk-it-all-otherwise-youre-just-0bc3072c02e140939202dc7bcf5c78ef)

So there I am, showering and contemplating about life. Too deep, I guess. This endeavor might even marginally affect our water bill for December, I thought for myself. And then it hit me, maybe that's the reason for existence; to question the very essence of existence. You know what they say that the true meaning of life is to give life meaning? Kind of? Okay, then, you know as well that the ability of the human being to question is one of the rarest ability any species in this earth can acquire? Yes, because that constitutes our freedom. The questioner is always free because no one even forces him to do such.  In the array of my thoughts, I have concluded that: To question is to be free, and to be free is give meaning, and to give meaning is to understand life, and to understand life is to exist. 

(Advertisement; sort of) Let's also talk about love at this moment of time. Love, ah. It's one of the most complicated feeling or emotion. Is it even? You know how all of us are limited persons, and yet it feels like when we love, everything transcends. As something the movie Interstellar (2015) would suggest, the only thing that transcends time and space, is non other than love itself.  To top it all, as Ma. Francesca (my girlfriend and the person I love the most) would tell me at one point in our mundane-yet-deep conversations, "Love transcends even love itself" That, I thought, nay, I knew, was so fu***ng philosophical. I think this is also an important element that is needed to understand our existence. 

Let's go back to Rick's quote and understand it's underlying meaning: the important element is of course to look at life (as Rick would suggest) as a risk. Otherwise, it's nothing.To look at life as a risk is supposed to be default for all of us. Because it is only in the risky moments that we get to move, we get to decide, we get to live life and exist. We can't see life as a death-rehearsal. We must not. Therefore having existential crisis is a precondition for us to have existence! Sort of.

I guess my shower will, from time to time, still smell like existential crisis; for I am not even nearly a percent of this universe but at least, I understood at least 1% of something. 

Oh, look, the sun is now shining.